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I'm coming back to this post and see that 4 people participated in the poll. And 100% of those people lost family members when they separated from their abuser. For me, I think it is quite infinitely sadder, from the vantage point of now, to have lost my brother than to have lost the illusion of my husband.

I miss my brother. My little brother.

But in his siding with the abuser, I seem to have also lost the illusion of who I thought my brother was. The relationship with my sister did not fare well either. And both had maintained "relationships" with my father.

And I wonder if he, my father, had something to do with the eventuality of my siblings not being able or willing to stand with me when I had to walk away from abuse. That he had poisoned me, prepped me somehow, to be susceptible to landing in the abuser's snares. And that he had poisoned my siblings, pulling them into the orbit of the abuser's trains of thought.

Plus, #patriarchy.

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